


The Next Shot

by Enzuri



Category: Homestuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-24
Updated: 2013-04-24
Packaged: 2017-12-09 08:29:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/772151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Enzuri/pseuds/Enzuri
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your name is Rose Lalonde and you are very drunk. You're  always drunk these days, a far cry from the girl who boasted eternal sobriety, before this rock, befre this game.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Next Shot

Your name is Rose Lalonde and you are very drunk. You're always drunk these days, a far cry from the girl who boasted eternal sobriety, before this rock, befre this game. 

But unlike your mother you don't consume alcohol purely for the fun of it. You drink to keep the voice at bay. The voices that could take everything from you if you aren't careful. They had succeeded once in the past, made you into a vessel for their words when you were just an innocent child. You can't have that again so you drink and try not to hate yourself for becoming the thing you despised. 

In the few moments when the liquor starts to wear thin your heart breaks for your friends. Kanaya always seems to be so upset and so unsure of how to deal with you, knowing that you're hindering your mind so. Though he is rarely sincere aloud you know that Dave means it when he tells you he wishes you would knock it off and clean up your act. They don't know why you need it, they don't understand and never can. They haven't seen the side of the Furthest Ring that you have.

Even lightheaded and fuzzy you can still feel them calling to you from the shadows. The next shot does little to mute them.

The team want you sober so that when this all comes to a head you'll be more useful to everyone. They don't know, how could they if you never said and they never heard. There's no way for you to be truly clear headed anymore. At least when you're drunk it's not the Old Ones choosing your path, just a giggling version of you. You've long since lost your usefulness to anyone, three years ago when you refused to close your eyes to them. Now all you can provide is snippets of visions, half remembered and barely understood. You're a disappointment to yourself but the drink takes off the edge.

When it's finally time Kanaya is already displeased over the state of you. You want to tell her not to frown when something sharp and white-hot cuts through your sight, then nothing.

Dying is the fastest way to sober up. You should have seen this coming, you're a seer. You didn't.

It's a struggle to open your eyes, to let in the bright world around you. The darkness had wrapped its tendrils around you now, found stronger whispers. Voices that smell like death and speak in forgotten secrets flood your skull, hoping to break free. You've seen the light but the inky depths are calling you, a home you never really had. You sigh and everyone just gives you a look that says they're unimpressed that they had to go to such extremes with you.

It would be so easy, to give up control again. Mumbled riddles beg for you to solve them, magic wants to be discovered. Hadn't you seen that the answers to all life's mysteries lay nestled in the writhing mass of bodies and limbs? It had been with their guiding appendages that you had discovered the green sun and the power that lay within you. If you closed your eyes and let the shadows wash over you would you find the way to save everyone? Would they really miss you now that you turned yourself into a joke?

They urge you on, ignoring your pursed lips. You'll have to wait until they're not looking, to take a hit and start to silence the voices once more. It won't kill you to ignore the pleas and begging for now.

Alone for a moment you raise a bottle to your lips and feel another part of yourself die with the burn down your throat.


End file.
